IBM Sucks at Everything, and I Hate Them

Warning: Super nerd post ahead...

The #1 thing I hate the most about NI is having to use IBM/Lotus software every day. Lotus Notes is the single worst piece of software I've ever used for anything, ever. And I've used a LOT of software.

Imagine my non-surprise when I recently learned that not only does IBM suck at writing email software, they suck at writing instant messaging software, writing Mac software, and designing web sites too!

I've been using the excellent Adium instant messaging client for Mac for a while now. It's open source, and it uses all of the GAIM/Pidgin plugins, which means I can use the "Meanwhile" library for Sametime (Lotus's instant messaging service) support.

Let me take you on a little trip down futility lane as I try to install the Mac Sametime client developed by Lotus/IBM...

My first thought: check our servers. We keep the most recent version of all of the software we use on a server we all have access to. As soon as Office 2007 came out and our company got a license, it was there for us to install. So I started by checking our server... Hmmm, Sametime 7.5.1. That sounds newer than the Windows version we use, and much newer than Lotus Notes 6.5, which we use for email. (For the record, Notes 6.5 was released in September 2003, which is fun.) So I installed 7.5.1, and I got this in my Applications folder...

What a mess. For those of you unfamiliar with Mac software, this is what Adium put in my Applications folder...

Ugly, but doable. Other Lotus software does this too... as a matter of fact, the easiest way to pick out a software house who doesn't usually do Mac development is with a stupid installation like this. But I decided to give it a try anyway. I opened the application and got this window:

Now that's what I call quality! I tried running it a few times... even rebooting and running it again. Nothing. So I went googling and found this:

10.3.4 was released in May 2004. 4 years ago. And no mention of Tiger support at all. I can already tell this is going to be fun.

Nevertheless, at least I know I need version 8.0. Since you have to have a server running Domino to use it, which is far from free, there's no reason to charge for the client, and it should be freely downloadable, right?

You can probably guess where this is going.

I poked around some more, and it looks like I can download a "Trial" version from IBM. Of course, they call it a "Trial," but I see no option anywhere to buy it. Oh well, I'll give it a try anyway. But since my company uses Lotus crap anyway, maybe I can get a "full" version...

Crap, I have no idea what the hell that means or if we're a part of that. Let's try something else. I think I can download the trial directly if I log in...

Hmm, IBM ID... I remember signing up for this a while back so I could go through a similar painful process to get Lotus for Leopard (don't even get me started on that.) Let me try my standard combo of UserID/Password for web sites I don't care about... nope, that wasn't it. Let me search my email... nothing there, either. Let me click that 'helpful' "Forgot your IBM ID?" link.

AWESOME. No helpful "enter your email address and we'll look you up" or anything... call and talk to "Paul," a suspiciously eastern-continent-sounding minimum-wage phone worker. No thanks. Maybe I can register for a new account.

Oh. My IBM ID is my email address. Why the hell didn't they just ask me for my email address on the login page? Why didn't they do what EVERY OTHER WEB SITE DOES and say, "Enter your ID, which is usually your email address?"

So I entered my email address and standard generic password, and actually made it to the download page! Success!

Nope.

What's the difference? Why are the filenames so garbled? WHY ARE THEY BOTH OVER 300 MEGABYTES FOR AN INSTANT MESSAGING PROGRAM?

For reference:

- Firefox: 44.9 MB
- Adium: 51 MB
- Aperture: 91 MB

After an uncomfortable amount of time, I started the installer.

What on earth am I installing?

After another 10 or 15 minutes, the new version was finally ready to run. I launched it, and set my default fonts to Gotham HTF 11 pt, just like in Adium. For comparison, here's a screenshot of an Adium chat window:

And here's a Sametime screenshot, set to the same font and size:

Ugh. What a mess. I give up.