
(source unknown)
Few experts in our society could pull off saying:
Emergency!!! We will suffer terribly if you don't spend a trillion dollars right now overpaying for stuff from our friends! No, you don't have time to study the problem, nor will we present an analysis for your review. No, other experts in our field cannot actually see this problem, and there will never be data showing the problem really existed. You just have to trust us and give us the trillion right now!!
"Hello. I'm calling for John McCain and the RNC because you need to know that Barack Obama won't stop repeating those stupid Chuck Norris facts. For example, before the third debate, Barack opened a bag of Lay's potato chips. My friends, I knew what was coming. I've been tested. It was either a Chuck Norris joke or a Seinfeld double dip. John McCain gets it. Chuck Norris can only eat one. But don't be fooled. Barack Obama was just pandering to the Florida vote. But you need to know that Barack Obama was for the cancellation of Walker, Texas Ranger before he was against it. And he also hates Everybody Loves Raymond. That's not reaching across the aisle. That's changing the channel on small-town American values. Not on John McCain's dial."